Hi, I am new to the forum and new to Cancer.
My partner was diagnosed with kidney cancer about a year ago and had the kidney removed, but found out afterwards that it had spread to his lungs. After 9 month of monitoring his Consultant recommended immunotherapy should begin. He has had two rounds now, and has started experiencing side effects, and I have found having to watch him go through this so so hard.
It's been a tough couple of weeks. His Consultant today has paused treatment, as he is having steroids to counter the side effect (inflation in the stomach - luckily not colitis), to allow him time to recover. The nurses are also having terrible difficulty locating veins and we are going to another hospital next week for them to insert a Port line to resolve this. It took 7 attempts to find a suitable vein today, and 9 attempts at A&E last week.
I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed, working hard to take care of him, our dogs and balance work. I feel guilty for feeling bad, as I'm not the one physically going through all the cancer treatments and coping with side effects. I am struggling with this, I just want the world around me to stop - leaving me the time and energy to support and look after him.
I know this is nothing new, I am sure everyone feels like this, but it is new to us, to me, and I am hoping to find support / signposting to better ways of coping here.
Hi Ian78 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your partner.
A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our…….
……. support groups.
These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer (If this is applicable)
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
