Hi my husband is 72 and was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in October. Yesterday he was admitted for major surgery which he had today. Oesophagus removed and stomach partial removal. Up to yesterday I was strong and supportive but I seem to have fallen apart. Surgeon is happy with cancer removal but because of issues he had open surgery rather than the robot. It will be a hard route for recovery. Are my feelings normal? I want to cry all the time but then have to pretend to be the strong one for other family members and I am exhausted. Can anyone suggest ideas on how I can shift this mindset?
Hi ElaineS and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband.
A cancer journey in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
