Hi, I am the main Carer for my partner. Of his 4 grown up daughters, 3 are medical professionals or ex professionals. 2 in pharmacy and one an ex paramedic. They all have others in their lives to look after or fulltime jobs. But, they are all stressing me out. Caring for a once vibrant and active gentleman who now needs a wheelchair, is stressful enough but they want to know everything that goes on. I appreciate they love their father, but, I have to question busy doctors and nurses to find out his HB levels, his platelet levels and blood pressure etc etc when I take him to hospital for blood tests. At home I have been given daily forms to fill out and I have to report in on a Whatsapp chat group to them at least once an hour! If not I am made to feel stupid and bad at my job. I was a proffesional carer as my last employment. I have a NVQ2 in Health and Social Care! I cared for my eldest daughter to her death when she was diagnosed with a brain tumour, but they are making me feel inadequate. They are all lovely girls and I normally get on with them ok so how do I deal with this? I do not want to upset my partner in any way. Has anybody else had to deal with this type of thing?
Hi Weatherwax15 and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your partner and the challenges you are having to deal with.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot..
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner, indeed yourself and the ready of the family you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer (If this is applicable)
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
They are all lovely girls and I normally get on with them ok so how do I deal with this? I do not want to upset my partner in any way.
Can you let them have access to their father's NHS portal? Then you wont have to explain anything.
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
