I’m very new here and I’ve wrote this a few times and deleted it but I’ve found some courage to finally post it. I’m really struggling to deal with my dad’s diagnosis. After 7 weeks of being sick and losing weight rapidly we took him to the hospital as the local doctors were no help. They kept saying it was stomach flu or a virus but he wasn’t getting any better. Within 16 hours of being admitted dad was told he has a cancer in the bowel with spots in the gallbladder, liver and stomach. It totally blindsided us. Surgery isn’t an option. I’m not sure why. There talking about gene therapy but getting colonoscopy/biopsies done next month. I’m really struggling as dad was always healthy and looked after himself and now he’s a shadow of himself in such a short space of time. He’s always so tired and he can’t eat much because he feels sick. He’s lost condition and just wants to lie down when they told us to get him up and fit for what he has to endure. My head is all over the place and nobody in the family wants to talk about anything. The consultant said she’s confident but I can’t see how. They sent him home with no meds and said get him fit and eating but it’s so hard. I don’t see any improvement and that’s a week he’s been home. Not sure if I should phone the specialist nurse or not.
Hi Bikerdee1888 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our…….
Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer
……. support group.
This group is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
I was diagnosed with my first type of Incurable Lymphoma in 1999 when I was 43…… then a second rare type of Lymphoma showed it’s ugly hear in late 2013 taking me to stage 4 but I am still here living a great life…… but I do know what your dad is going through.
My wife and 2 girls and now 4 granddaughters have been amazing…… the secret is ‘talking’
So join the groups au have highlighted and you will see group members get back to you…….. and tomorrow morning make a cuppa and call our helpline as these folks can help you out ((hugs))
