Hello,
my father in law has been diagnosed with incurable lung cancer this week. My husband has shut off from me, he’s never been a big talker anyway, but he has really closed off. Isn’t willing to talk about it, didn’t want to tell our daughter together about grandad being poorly & is super quiet around the house. He is really struggling with the news which is expected but I’m really worried about him & what if anything, I can do to support him.
We aren’t sure if there is life prolonging treatment yet or stages so I just feel like there is no hope there yet.
we’re all beside ourself with the news, he is a huge part of this family and we’re all incredibly close.
please tell me this is normal part of the diagnosis journey and my husband reaction is expected and will settle? I’m also feeling lost and a heavy weight on my shoulders.
I feel selfish even saying that… it’s not about me but I feel like I have to be there for everybody right now and try keep the spirits up if that makes sense?
words of wisdom and advice please from one broken hearted daughter-in-law
Hi NewToThis25 and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your father in laws diagnosis and the challenges you are dealing with.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your father in law and indeed yourself and the ready of the family you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
