Hi everyone, I’m very new to this forum.
My world was turned upside down yesterday when my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. We’re still in complete shock – it was so unexpected.
My mum is being the strong one, while I’ve completely fallen apart. I know that’s not helpful to her, and I need to put my big girl pants on and pull myself together – which I will. It’s just all so raw right now.
She’s always been a strong, no-nonsense woman – my best friend and my rock. I’ve never seen her unwell (and she still doesn’t look or feel ill), so this has hit hard. If I could swap places with her, I would in a heartbeat.
I was with her when she got the diagnosis. We were both so shocked. After the doctor said “cancer,” I could barely process anything else he said.
Her diagnosis is Grade 3, and the lump is about 3cm. The positive is that at the moment it has not spread into her lymph glands. The doctor said they’ll need to remove around 4cm to include the margin, which puts her on the borderline between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy. She really does not want a mastectomy. Has anyone else been told something similar?
At the moment they are not mentioning chemo (again she really does not want this), only radiation. Is this a good sign, or is chemo only talked about after surgery?
Surgery is likely to be in 8 weeks to allow time for other appointments. Is that a typical timeline? I’m really worried since Grade 3 is fast-growing – it feels like she should be seen sooner.
Also, if anyone has any advice on how I can best support my mum through this, I’d really appreciate it.
Sorry for all the questions but my head is full of them!
Thank you so much.
xx
Hi Brook and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and I was diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer in 2022. My original treatment plan was surgery followed by radiotherapy but when a micro deposit of cancer cells was found in one of the lymph nodes I was offered chemotherapy, which I decided to have. Now 3 years later I'm back to living a normal life.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend a couple for you to join. The first is the breast cancer group, which is a great place to ask questions and share experiences with others who have the same type of cancer as your mum, and the second is the family and friends group where you can discuss your worries and find out how others have supported loved ones through treatment.
To join, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your mum's diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
