My husband was diagnosed with bowel cancer in Feb 2022. We were told it was all very straightforward etc but then found out it had spread to his liver in June 2022. It is now in his lungs & while he’s worked throughout, he has become much more poorly the last 2 months so this will not be sustainable. My husband is 62, I’m 50 & we have two children - we both lost our parents from 2005–2010. I’m very close to my siblings & family - although they don’t live near. My husband is one of five. I’ve made an effort to keep his family informed & invite them to visit etc - I realise if I don’t make the effort they won’t. They never contact my husband to see how he is. He says they don’t want to “intrude” but I just don’t get it! As my husband is getting more poorly weve talked about how things will be after he’s gone. He says he will speak with his family to not “abandon” us but given how little they’ve been involved while he’s been alive I’m not convinced. My family are great & I have a good network of friends. I know all families are different & nothing I do will change their behaviour. There’s never been a big fall out but it makes me sad (& very angry) for my husband - it must hurt having 4 siblings who don’t even text to ask how you are?! Has anyone else experienced this? Even my therapist is surprised at their behaviour.
Hi ARaff and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m sorry to read that your husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and that his family aren't supportive.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the carers only group where you can discuss your worries and emotions and give and receive support.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your husband's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
