Hi everyone,
I've found myself here as I devour the online world looking for information. My hero dad has bladder cancer and had his bladder etc removed last year (which he has struggled with and has been awful to watch) and every appointment since has been nothing positive. The last time they thought he had a lung infection due to a mark on a CAT scan, then just phoned to say it is cancer and he will go in again in 8 weeks to talk about "managing" it.
We have a small family and this whole journey breaks my heart. He is doing well, on the outside. But he and I share thoughts and feelings and I know he is scared, fed up, angry and every time I see him I can see on his face that he is pained. He won't go to the Dr about his pain or cough and he won't speak to the nurses or support groups.
I've lost a lot of friends bringing up my children and I am always strong, positive and the one who gets through everything but I feel guilty for how I feel and I want to shake myself into being positive but I can't. I feel like I am grieving. My strong dad is no longer strong and I feel it is my turn to be strong but I'm so scared I can't be. I genuinely don't know how to cope and that's awful as he is going through the worst thing and he will know how I feel and it will be upsetting him.
Sorry I just needed to reach out somewhere.
Hi Isoarkle2 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and I know how difficult a cancer diagnosis can be for the whole family.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend a few for you to join. The first two are the bladder cancer and secondary lung cancer groups which are great place to ask questions and share experiences with others who have the same diagnosis as your dad.
To get emotional support for yourself, can I suggest either the carers only group, if you are your dad's carer, or the family and friends group if you're not his carer. Both groups are supportive places to discuss your worries and emotions with others who have a loved one living with cancer.
To join, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your dad's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Sharons sister and welcome to the online community to you too.
Thank you very much for taking the time to offer support to Isoarkle2, especially as you are currently in hospital.
As mentioned to Isoarkle2, the online community is divided into different support groups so you might like to join the thyroid cancer group where you can give and receive support from others who have the same type of cancer.
If you know what type of cancer you're currently being investigated for you could take a look through this list to join the relevant group.If you have any problems navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
