Just need someone to talk to

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My husband of 30 years has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer & I don't know what to do. I'm trying to stay strong for him and our adult children, but I just want to scream and cry. I just don't know what to do right now or how I'll cope without him. 

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am ever so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.

    A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but indeed getting support and talking with others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

    Carers only

     and 

    Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • I don’t have any advice but I can offer someone to share feelings with . I feel I’m in a similar position .

    I’ve just been informed that my dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer too . I’m always seen as the strongest person in the family and I am always there to help and find solutions. I understand how you’re feeling as I don’t know how I’m going to cope without my dad too . I also have children and can’t bring myself to tell them as they are close to him . It’s the only time in my life I have ever felt so lost and afraid . I know I need to be there and be strong for everyone but how when I feel so numb. I I want to be there for both my mum and dad but I’m scared of getting things wrong. I really can’t accept the card my dad has been given as I don’t want a life without him and I’m scared that he is also scared . All I can say is I’m here to chat