I'm completely new to this forum. In all honesty it's been tough since the end of December.
My partner was at A&E for stomach pains and after tests was told he had bowel cancer which had spread to his liver. That same day he was in surgery to have the blockage and cancer removed and fitted with a temporary stoma. To say that was a shock was an understatement. However, he recovered well from surgery and adapted to his new stoma (although he has said its uncomfortable and whoever designed it mustn't have worn one).
After a few weeks we had our first appointment with his oncologist in relation to his liver. Its not cureable and they cant operate on it as there are too many affected areas but can treat with chemo.
He had his first session of intense chemo last weekend and touch wood all seems ok in relation to side effects. I know we have a long road ahead of us and I'll be by his side every step of the way.
I guess I'm just struggling with how I feel emotionally. I'm strong in front of him but we have also cried together about what we're going through. I just struggle at times to know if I'm doing enough am I enough for him and does anyone have advice on coping? Or can anyone tell me I'm doing ok with all of this.
Sorry for the rambling message but I feeI need to reach out to those in a similar situation to me who may have some knowledge, wisdom or advice to share.
Hi LauraD85 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your partner’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our…….
Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer
Ileostomy, colostomy and stoma support
……. support group.
These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Family and Friends….. that I do see you have posted in already
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
