Today I cried for the 1st time

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Hi Wave 

sorry I’m new here and to this whole thing

 my mum was diagnosed 4 months ago and they said without treatment she had a matter of months, she hasn’t been well enough for any treatment yet so … Shrug‍♀️

 the reason I’m here right now is today I cried for the 1st time, I know I should be strong but today I dont feel it. I’m so very alone, I have no one to talk to about it I have 4 siblings but  I’m the oldest so need to be there for them. Everyone expects me to hold the family together but tonight I feel powerless and weak 

I was just sitting here crying and scrolling my contacts looking for someone I could call or text but there is no one. It’s too late to speak to a friend, my husband is away with bad signal and also he would be devastated to know I’m feeling so sad with him not here. 

on top of it all I’m so very angry with my dad he is being awful about taking mum to hospital etc but my younger siblings just shrug it off so now I’m thinking I’m being irrational? 

sorry I’m just blurting it all out, I came to this website to find a number to call I guess like the Samaritans but it’s only open to 8pm so I’m hoping writing all the stuff down will ease my mind. 
I’m not asking for anything, just clearing my head 

If you’ve read this far thank you, I wish you all love x 

  • It just days edit move or turn off notifications no delete

  • Oh the site does silly things from time to time……. The most important thing you need to do is connect in with the groups I highlighted as this will open a wide support base further you ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • It's OK to feel powerless and weak ...... sometimes we are.  Do try to let your husband know how sad you're feeling .. write yourself a letter and tell yourself how brave you are being, how you're trying to help your siblings, about how difficult it is to deal with other peoples reactions to you Mum's diagnosis, about how much you need to see a silver lining around the clouds. Best wishes and much love