Hello all,
Thank you for letting me join the community and I'm so sorry to read about all the incredibly challenging times you are going through. Sending love and strength to you all.
I've joined because my father, who is 83, has been diagnosed with adenocarcinoma (he has a large tumour on the left hand side of his body) with cancer of unknown primary. He has been in hospital a month and they have said the prognosis is poor and that they won't give him treatment as his body won't withstand it. They are now talking about discharge and have said he will need to go into a nursing home as his medical needs are so complex (he also has stage 5 kidney disease). We accept that he will not be able to return home but we just don't know what to expect going forward. He is very confused and losing weight rapidly and sleeps for long periods each day, but his colour looks good and he doesn't seem to be in major discomfort. I think what we are struggling with is not having a clear prognosis because the primary cancer is unknown. I don't want to miss out on any time with him but my employer will only allow so much compassionate leave and no-one is able to tell us whether we are looking at weeks or months. I guess we take it each day as it comes, but I just worry moving him now may see him go downhill faster, although of course I equally understand that they need to free up beds in hospital.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking. I guess it might just be useful to hear if anyone has gone through anything similar and whether there is anything we can do to make life more bearable for him. He sits in his hospital chair watching the world go by, but doesn't read or watch telly any more.
Thank you.
Hi Milkyway and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our…….
……. support groups.
These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Carers only (if you are their caregiver)
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
