Hi,
My Dad has recently diagnosed with bladder cancer which spread to lymph nodes. He will be recieving chemo next week.
The thing is he hasn't and won't get out of bed for this past week and I understand he needs alot of time to process it all, and he is kind of aware of what's to come as my mum passed 10year ago with a battle of lung cancer. I've been going over 4 times a day making meals and drinks although he's barely eating. I feel he maybe becoming depressed even though he says he's not says he is going to fight it.
Looking for advice on what to do end of the day I know it's his choice if he wants to stay in bed and to fight it or not but do I just keep doing what I'm doing? I tried to contact GP they won't help as he has to contact them himself. I've tried getting him to reach out to his friends but he doesn't even want to tell them because he doesn't want the fuss.
Any advice would be so much appreciated.
heartbreaking for your dad and your family. I'm new on here with my husband diagnosed 2 weeks ago out of the blue with oesophagus and lung spread waiting for treatment plan.
Have you thought of calling the "nurse" option on the mcmillan website for advice they must have experienced this reaction it sounds normal to want to hide away from it. We never know til it happens to us. 
Meanwhile those who love have to put on our brave faces and let them know how loved they are and do everything we can to keep them on an even kiel.
I send you much love try the nurse she may have good options to try
xxxxxxx
Hi Pinkc and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and I'm sorry to read that your dad has recently been diagnosed with bladder cancer.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the bladder cancer group, which is a great place to ask questions and share experiences about your dad's type of cancer.
You might also find it helpful to talk to others in either the carers only group, if you are your dad's carer, or the family and friends group if you're not his carer. I'm sure some people in those groups will have experienced the same as you are with your dad.
To join, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your dad's diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
