Hi Everyone, I’m new here, and wondered if anyone could give me any help on how to support my dad best.
We were told this week he has six months to live, after living with prostate cancer for 6 years, it came as a total shock to us all, my dad looks so sad every time I look at him, and I find myself crying a lot, which I know is to be expected.
its hard as we lost my mum suddenly 7 years ago, my dad found her, it was awful, he stated to go downhill after, and after many months of being poorly, we found out he had cancer, he has been in and out of hospital constantly since, he found out he had chronic anemia and it took a year to find he had a bleed in his bowel which was eventually sorted, he was also diagnosed with heart failure and kidney disease, and thought we might lose him on a few occasions.
He has stayed so strong over this time, so to see him now is heartbreaking, I have worked in care all my life as well as a hospice, so I know what to expect, and this is making it harder, he has refused anyone to talk to, I have chatted a bit about things as he knows he can talk to me, but I don’t know how I’m going to manage over the months ahead.
I do have siblings but not too much support there, apart from one sister, who is struggling too.
The consultant didn’t really mention what happens next, just told us the news and said he was sorry, and off we went.
Any help would be so appreciated as I know how hard this will get.
Thank You.
Hi Palm Angel and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
