My husband is stage 2 with neuroendocrine he gets injections every 4 weeks , I don’t know what to do to say to be ‘normal’ I sit in my bath and cry then come out and smile . They said at diagnosis it was pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver then after last scan it’s now in his hip. I feel numb most days , at first I wouldn’t let him do anything and he said I was disabling him then I let him do what he normally does and he’s exhausted and looks terrible. He was a fit man who doesn’t drink or smoke and was active working full time now he’s a shadow of himself getting nippy and sharp with us which is so unlike him. He’s about to get 3rd injection at the end of the month and I feel he’s doing ‘well’ . I’m giving him all the support and trying to be upbeat and positive for him….. I am struggling so bad and I know that sounds so selfish but I’m not coping , I have great friends for support but I feel I just want to hit something I’ve so much anger and emotions going on in my head. I feel I’m so tired smiling being happy putting on a face when I want to scream and run away.
Everyone asks and say how well we’re doing and how good we’re coping when really I want to say well actually I’m not coping. I don’t want my husband to think I’m struggling or crying all the time and that it his fault , my heart is breaking for him and he never speaks about it or talks about it he just says he’s fine. So that does help it’s like if he doesn’t talk about it it doesn’t exist. I’m off my work just now so we’re together 24 hours a day and I know I’m starting to annoy him as he’s a quiet person and likes his own space ,
I just needed to say all that out loud to see if it helped .
Hi Ancients
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community and I wondered if you meant to post this in the pancreatic cancer group which I signposted you to when you first joined a couple of months ago.
To get to the group from here, just click on the link above. You can start a new post and copy and paste your message from here into it to save you typing it all out again.
Another group which I think you'd benefit from joining is the carers only group where you can share worries and find emotional support from others who have a loved one living with cancer.
It would be great if you could put something about your husband's diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi CaroM74 and a warm welcome to the online community to you too.
Can I recommend that you also join the pancreatic cancer group which I signposted Ancients to as you'll then connect directly with others who have been diagnosed with this type of cancer.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your mum's diagnosis and any proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
