Hi, my mum has stage 4 cancer and is going down hill so fast it’s been kinda a year now and it’s too late for chemo. Im so scared on what will happen next because she is a single mum with not many people around us. Im being as supportive as I can with taking care of her and making sure she has everything she needs but I can tell that it will be in the next few months. My sleep schedule is completely gone due to many restless nights and I want to just hug my mum. Her pain is too much to properly hug her and she is pretty much bed bound and sleeps most of the time. She was my biggest supporter through my life so far and I’m so scared of losing her. Im the middle child of 3 and I’m not really close anymore with the oldest. Im trying my best to take care of the youngest and support the oldest but it has been getting to me a lot lately and all what will happen after. About moving out and looking after my sisters and money and what am I going to do without my mum. I really just don’t want to lose her.
Hi Mifsy and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Hey.
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation 
praying for you and your Mum! ️
I'm waiting on my mum's womb cancer scan results. I've already lost my Dad to cancer not even 2 years ago, I'm an only child, early 30s and same as you, we don't have much family around us. My mums my best friend, I don't think I can get through any of it all over again. I feel so alone and terrified.
I hope what you're going through brings your siblings closer to you somehow.
I'm here if you ever need to chat. I know how lonely this can all feel. Just trying to survive each day, I can't stand it.
If anything I learnt from losing my Dad is to just keep talking to your mum. I played his favourite music even when he wasn't responsive anymore, talked to him every day regardless, told him how loved he was.
It's so unbelievably hard to keep having to stay strong. Its exhausting.
Praying you get a good night's sleep soon.
Keep messaging here if you need!
Hi Rosie S. and a warm welcome to you…. But sorry to hear about your dad and now to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
Talking to others who are or have navigated the same cancer journey can help a lot so do look at joining and introducing yourself to our dedicated……
….. support group….., along with the various support routes that I have highlighted to Mifsy ((hugs))
