Hi.
Mum’s lung cancer is back after seemingly having been zapped away by radiation. She is not allowed anymore radiation and her lung function (COPD) has ruled out surgery. She has oncology apt next week but I’m assuming she is too frail for chemo. My Dad was caring for her till Feb last year when he died unexpectedly. I am newly married (not young I hasten to add!), but my heart is aching all the while I am away from Mum and I know she’s lonely and sad. My husband and I live a three hour drive away. I lived with Mum for the first few months after Dad died but moved home after we set up carers coming in. I don’t know how long she may have left. My husband is very supportive and although would not want to move in with her himself he will support and visit often. He says I’m more likely to regret not moving back than regret moving back but I do worry about my career, marriage, social life, mental health etc….
Appreciate any wisdom! Thanks x
I'm in my seventies and to this day I regret not seeing my nan at what turned out to be her last Christmas. I was a young mum, pregnant with my second child and tired, tired, tired. So I backed out of having nan for Christmas and never saw her again after that.
I still regret that decision.
I should add that I'm currently having treatment for lung cancer and am experiencing those same emotions as your mum. My best wishes to her and you.
Hi Queenie
Thanks for your reply. I’m sorry you are going through lung cancer. Do you have any family supporting you? I am going up to Mum’s three weekends out of the next four and the driving is taking its toll. I feel like just forgetting about work and just being there for her. Work feels like the least important thing right now.
Best wishes to you x
Hi Hazzabean and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your mum and the challenges you are dealing with.
A cancer journey like this can be a stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our…….
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This group is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
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Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Hi Hazzabean,
Thank you, yes, I live with my rock of a husband and have family supporting me.
Only you will know your own situation regarding work; but maybe you can have a word with your employer and see if it's possible to take some unpaid compassionate leave ?
Of course work will seem least important right now, but the reality is that most of us can't just walk away from our livelihood.
I wish you and your mum all the best.
Thanks Mike. Mike was my Dad’s name. Good name Thanks for the directions x
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