Hi, I’m new and looking for advice.

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Hi, my name is Lucy and I’m new here. What a wonderful community, I’m so glad I found this. 

My partner is currently exploring the possibility of Bowel Cancer, at age 30 and he’s terrified. Whilst it could be unlikely, the doctor has said it could be diverticulitis or something else, there are some symptoms and markers and he’s currently on cancer pathway - referred yesterday - to explore further tests.

He is completely terrified and has health anxiety, and is convinced he will have cancer. I don’t know what to say or how to help, can anyone give me any advice on what i can do? 

His parents are aware but also beside themselves too so not exactly helpful in calming his panic. Bowel cancer runs in the family with my partners uncle recently having Bowel Cancer and very little showing up in the way of tests prior to diagnosis  

I’m also worried but trying to be as positive and optimistic as possible, and I hope and pray it’s not cancer. 

please do let me know if this post is okay, I appreciate I myself do not have cancer and he is just exploring but I’m desperate for some advice or help. 

  • Hi Lucy/ and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community and, although I had a different type of cancer to the one that your partner is worried he may have, I know how scared he's probably feeling right now.

    The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the bowel cancer group, which is a great place to ask questions, share experiences and get support.

    To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

    It would be great if you could put something about your partner's symptoms and proposed tests into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Thank you so much for the warm response. I will update my profile soon with symptoms and we are just about to have the first appointment to explore tests so will be able to add that later too.

    i will also have a look at the community you have posted that’s really helpful thank you 

  • Hi Lucy,

    I'm Dazz, I'm also new to this community group.

    Firstly, I thoroughly understand yours and your partners situation and the ordeal that you are both going through.

    I'm in recovery from Colorectal Bowel Cancer, so I have good knowledge of the tests and investigations that your partner is going through, and I guess it's the not knowing and the worry of waiting for the results and wondering what will happen if it is Cancer, what happens next, and not knowing what to say to your boyfriend to help him to deal with the stress of it all and then there is you Lucy, trying to keep smiling and trying to keep things as normal as possible.

    Firstly, you have done exactly the right thing in coming on here for help.

    Secondly, let's hope and pray that it isn't Cancer , and even if it is, we as a Community are here to talk and listen at every step of the way for you both.

    Thirdly, Lucy, be aware, that it's perfectly alright for you both to ask the doctors and nursing team any questions that you might have, I found it helpful to write down any questions that I had, so that could take them with me to the consultant meetings, so that I didn't forget to ask them.

    Fourthly, speak with the Macmillan team, they should have a support team based at your hospital, Macmillan, also have a great range of booklets , which are also extremely helpful.

    Do please keep us updated with your partners progress.

    All the best to you both