Having to hold it in

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A beautiful family member died last week from cancer. He was the most amazing person and only in his twenties. My grief is very tough but nothing compared to his immediate family and that gives me guilt but also I am heart broken at what they are going through. 

What's makes it really hard is having to hold it all in because my husband doesn't understand, he wants me to get over it and if I even look sad he sighs and huffs. As a result I'm not talking about the loss, how I'm feeling and talking very little about the person himself. My husband's family went through it too but I guess he deals with grief differently. 

Tiptoeing round him is adding so much tension to how I'm feeling but if I don't, his huffing means I'm completely alone.

I just want to concentrate on the wonderful person that should have decades of life ahead of him and how honoured I was to love him.

Don't want to burden friends, they're busy with families and life.

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am sorry to hear about your family friend….. my sincere condolences and yes this can be such a challenging time to navigate.

    Getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' challenges will help you a lot.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our…….

    Bereaved Family and Friends Support Group.

    ……. support group.

    This group is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar experience, to ask questions and get support.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Link” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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