Dealing with my partners cancer

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Hi. I’m new here. My partner 70 has been diagnosed with with stage iv primary lung cancer which has spread to the brain.  We are on a treatment plan of tepotinib for the primary cancer having had gammaknife to  treat brain tumours which was successful. 
im struggling with the fact that he seems to think it’s all about him which it is I know. But my daughter and I and all his family are on this horrendous journey. How do I stop myself from feeling resentful. I feel so awful that I feel this way too. Is it selfish 

  • Hi Peggypogster, and a warm welcome to the forum, though I'm so sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis and the awful time you are all going through.

    You are absolutely not being selfish, like many I believe caring for someone with cancer is just as difficult as being the one cared for, and it's not all just about him. My advice would be for you to set aside time everyday for yourself, to switch off, relax and clear your head, can I also suggest you join the lung cancer forum too, talking to others on the same journey can be very helpful, and there are some wonderful people on there who would be happy to support you and your family 

    best wishes 

    Eddie 

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your partners diagnosis and the challenges you have been facing.

    A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our…….

             Lung Cancer

    ……. support group.

    This group is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

         Family and Friends

         Carers only (if you are their caregiver)

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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