Hello, I’m new here!

Bless you. I tried to keep it in too. I’d suddenly start to cry and then be asked what’s the matter. I don’t think people understand how it makes you feel. Don’t hold it in. It makes me feel better having a cry. I’ve realised that since my op 2 weeks ago. Wishing you all the best. Big virtual hug to you x

Thank you Mary4004 - I’m feeling hugged now & that’s a great start to my day x

Hi WhoAmI,  family and friends, mean we'll, but can't really understand how it feels having cancer, and like Mary4004, would always say, if you need to cry, then do so, it is such a release to do so, do you have a Maggies near you www.maggies.org they offer so much support for the whole family, you don't need an appointment, just pop in, 9-5 weekdays. My very best wishes for your radiotherapy, I will have everything crossed for good results

Hello WhoAmI 

Another warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community from me, although I am so sorry to find you here.

I am Brian one of the Community Champions. The Community is divided up into various cancer specific groups and to "meet" Community Members who are on the same or similar journey as you I would advise you to join the following groups:

Breast cancer forum and Emotional support forum 

To join these groups, just click on the links I have provided and once the page opens up, click on "join" on the black banner at the bottom of the page. You can then either copy and paste or repost your original post in the "New here - Say Hello section. I am sure you will have plenty of replies.

There is also our Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) although services my vary over the festive period - they are a great bunch and can offer you that bit of extra support you may need.

I hope the above helps - if i can do anything else for you just let me know.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thank you Brian, I’ll do that.

Hi WhoAmI,

Tears can helps yo wash away some of the sorrows and give you a little more head space to thinks about you and your needs.  It is really hard for people to know how to approach you for the best outcome.  Be you and do for you, if it would help others to understand, just let them know it is difficult for both parties. I have asked to a few people this... do you really want to know how I feel, or what I am thinking?  Often I do not even know how I feel, or how to think.  

A nurse asked me if I was going to be brave, whilst waiting to insert the cannula, I said No! I don't want to be brave or strong, just to be human, and feel free to say if I am hurting or not. Another day I just cried, and then I was able to carry on with the chemo treatment. You take care of you, it is not selfish, it is self care, and we owe that to ourselves.  If this does not work for you drink tea and relax.  Go ahead and cry if you want to.  All the best going forward.

Thank you mangoes. I really like how you expressed yourself and have the confidence to just be you, without pandering to expectations of bravery. I know what you mean about not knowing how you actually feel. My feelings are all over the place just now, so I shouldn’t be surprised when people don’t know how to respond to me.

Best wishes x

This is so true. I start to cry and I’m asked what’s the matter. I say I don’t know……because I actually don’t know.

Perhaps we don’t actually need to struggle to find words. Perhaps the crying can just be allowed to happen without justification or description or apology. Perhaps just a hug is all that’s needed. Perhaps I need to tell people that, then I’ll get more hugs and feel better…