Alone

Hello Mandu

I just happened to pop on here this am and saw your post.

I am so sorry to hear that your husband died yesterday and can only imagine how tough it feels this am. 

It is good that you have your family and friends around you during this difficult time but I do understand how alone it can feel. 

Please do reach out on here as much as you need over the Christmas period and I understand how tough it can feel at this time of year. 

I will pop some links here that may be of help. 

I found Cruse really helpful after I lost a family member.

Christmas - Cruse Bereavement Support

Here's some details about Macmillan support

Accessing support during the festive season - Macmillan Online Community

Lastly, the Online Community is arranged into forums and you may find it helpful to look at this forum and perhaps share with others in similar circumstances. I know it helped me when I first became involved with Macmillan. 

Bereaved spouses and partners forum | Macmillan Cancer Support

I hope that this helps in some small way, I am sorry for your loss. 

Jane

Thank you so much. I'm feeling numb most of the time but I will check out these links.

I remember the numb feeling and then sometimes it would be broken up by sudden feelings of yearning and sadness. All I would say is go with the flow, my emotions were all over the place. When the day ahead seemed too much, I broke it down into smaller steps- the next hour etc. Sometimes I wanted to talk and sometimes I just needed the quietness. I had a child to get up for school and pets that needed care and this helped to keep some sort of routine. Do what you feel is right for you and do continue to reach out on here when it helps. 

Sometimes I found talking to those closest to me hardest as I did not want to upset them, so do give the Support Line a call if it would help- they are there everyday. 

Jane

You are making so much sense. I can't imagine how it was with young children to care for. Mine are grown up and I'm a proud Granny of four teenagers. I hurt for them as well.

I have achieved some items on my list and I've been out for a walk, I think now is TV and tears. Thank you again for caring. 

I found walking helped, anything in the fresh air and nature. And then home for a soak in the bath.

Tears are very normal and for me could be healing. 

I hope you can find something to watch on TV to help pass the time. I'm a proud Nanna too- only a few weeks old though.

️

Reach out to someone who has been in the same awful dark hole you are in.  They will understand and they will know that you will be able to live again, but not just yet. 

How are you doing today?

I've spent a few hours with my kids starting the funeral discussions, a few tears, lots of laughter and very little decided. But we have time and seem to be on the same page. I am finding first cuppa the most difficult time, it's when we would sit and chat, plan and put the world to rights.

How am I doing? I'm really not sure, bewildered might be the best description.