The start of my cancer journey

Hi L33

Everything you are going through is a complete head f**k. All your feelings are completely normal. I'm the other side of treatment now, but the negative thoughts creep in now and again as I have quite a wait for the outcome. I found the best thing was to keep busy with things you enjoy and exercise. Try to have a good Christmas. Sending hugs. Xx

Hello sorry to hear of your troubles, I have also been through a similar thing lymph nodes in my neck I’ve had 11 scans, 2 biopsies ultrasound endoscopy e.t.c and they still can’t confirm where my cancer has come from I also have squamous cell , iam just had my second combo chemo and immunotherapy but please don’t give up hope remain positive I know this will sound stupid but it’s all we have , no one bit of advice can help you get through this part it’s very bloody hard but stay positive it’s all we can do to get through I found it the hardest part but hang in there YOU CAN and will be okay x 

Hi Bungle1,

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it. Yes, ‘a complete head f**k’ is a very good description. I’ve never felt anything like it, despite being quite an anxious person naturally. This is a whole other level. If I can get through this myself, which seems like a massive wall to climb as I don’t know what the true nature of my cancer is yet…if I make it through I will do my best to help others. 

again, thanks for taking the time to respond, and I hope you have a good Christmas. My fingers are crossed for your outcome.

L

Hi Lukecup,

Thank you for replying, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry to hear about your journey, but I hope you can keep hold of that hope and positivity. You sound so brave, and it’s people like you that will help inspire me and others to keep going and to win our own personal fights. I wish you the best and hope you can have a good Christmas. Take care.

L

Hi I think the waiting on tests and results is the hardest bit, but you will cope and get through. Once you get some definite answers you will feel more in control if that makes sense. Do whatever you need to do to cope, scream, shout, cry. Or anything that takes your thoughts somewhere else. You got this. Xx

Bungle1,

Scream / shout / cry…yep, a big tick against all of those. Hoping to add ‘sleep’ to the list soon! And thanks, you’ve got this too. We’ve got this.

L

That’s what iam saying , we have no choice but to be brave , it’s hard at the point where you very hard but remember it’s our brain that fights this thing and it’s only us that can get us through and believe me you are and will be brave you will find your toughness and you go with it you will feel like your frozen in time and nothing can help with that , but I tried to organise my life and get things done just to cope with the long days and weeks in between appointments and tests the results but after six months iam being treated and my lymph nodes are getting smaller so there is hope in a world that has changed forever hold you in a funny way life become better because all the small stuff don’t matter anymore and you crave normal life but we get a new normal fighting this disease x all the best if you need anything get intouch 

Wow, love what you’ve said there. I’m trying to fight against a life of habitual pessimism…but hearing things like what you’ve said, it makes me want to be strong, to not give up. I know there will be ups and (many many) downs.

I’m happy for you, to hear that you’re seeing positive changes. Take care x

L33 said:

After my CT scan I went back to see the Consultant, who had finally gotten hold of the results. She confirmed that “The biopsy has shown squamous cell carcinoma. On the basis of the tests the microscope specialist, they are wondering if it has occurred from a head and test sight. The appearance is that the cancer has originated in elsewhere”.

HI 

You've had some pretty good advice about coping from the others here.

I'm Dani and I hang out in the Head and Neck cancer Group. I am six years out of treatment and doing really well, looking forward to my Buck's Fizz at breakfast time this morning. Click on the link I've made and join us there.

I'm afraid to say that a swollen lymph node is classic presentation of throat cancer driven by HPV and it seems to have taken your GP a long time to recognise it.  You already have a secondary diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma and the likely primary will be in your tonsils somewhere. The good news is that although the treatment is pants and a real challenge we have cure rates in excess of 95%

Come over and have a chat with us. We'll have your back