Grief

I am so sorry for your loss. 

I lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago this month. 

The grief doesn't get smaller but the love around you gets bigger. You start to look at who is sitting at your table rather than focusing on the empty seat.  

Big hugs x

Hi KEC

So sorry for the loss of your dad. Your loss is so recent and there is no time limit or right or wrong way. People say grief is love with no place to go and I think this is true. From my own experience in time it becomes easier to live with you just have to do whatever you need to process. You will learn to live with it. Hope this makes sense. Sending hugs. Xx

Thank you so much for taking the time out to reply, I am also very sorry for your loss.  What a lovely way to put it, I’ll always appreciate the lovely family my daddy made for us. I don’t believe he ever healed from losing his dad so I really do think he made sure we were all close and supported and that we had each other.

I do try and think about how lucky we were to have him and the memories we have together are endless.

when people say your heart is broken it really is isn’t it the pain in your heart just hurts so much.

thank you again xxx

Thank you for replying. 
people have the kindest words and that helps so much. 
I find myself not wanting to talk about him one day coz I cry so much then the next I just wanna talk about him all day. 
My dad made everything ok and now we are all left in pain and all I wanna do is stop us all hurting. 
im sorry for rambling and I am grateful for your lovely words xxx

Hi KEC welcome to the Community but so sorry to hear about your dad…… in 4 days time it will be the 4th anniversary of my mum’s passing.

You may want to join and put up the text from this post in our dedicated Bereaved Family and Friends Support Group as this will connect you with many people who have or are navigating the same journey.

The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

((hugs))

I could be reading my own thoughts here about my dad. It is so very hard. My son was 10months when my dad passed and I now have a daughter who is a few months. I found out I was pregnant on my dad's 1 year anniversary so I truly believe he sent her to me to fill my heart a little more.  

The pain of losing your dad is horrendous. Especially when you know you had a good one and it sounds like your dad was a great dad. I find that my dad lives on through us in the simple things like our morals, principals, the way we make a cup of tea or the meals he cooked. I try to replicate these!  

I follow a wonderful Scottish poet called Donna Ashworth who writes about grief. Might be too much for you at the moment but her poem below has really helped me.  

LOVE CAME FIRST You don't move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember. Grief came to you, my friend, because love came first. Love came first.

I'm so sorry, I'd imagine that was such a shock.

My dad is in end of life care, he's been deteriorating for a few weeks then quite rapidly over the past few days. And I'm only saying this because it triggered my grieving process without me even realising.

So for you, having him being well enough to eat and then suddenly passing, must be really difficult to process.