Hi all,
I'm here seeking emotional support and guidance.
My best friend since university (over 12 years now!) was diagnosed with Melanoma from a mole on her foot, 3 days before her 30th birthday. I distinctly remember the surreal birthday celebrations, sat in the back of a taxi on our way to a restaurant saying "well if 50% of people get cancer, maybe this is your "lot", you'll get the mole removed and we can all move on". I think you can guess that's not how it's panned out.
She's just turned 33 and has been given months, weeks or days to live. She has an extremely aggressive tumor that might invade her artery and just cause her to go suddenly, or she might have months of slowly getting more and more tired and in pain before she goes.
I just don't know how to handle it and support her. I have a 9 month old baby and marrying the extreme difference in our positions in life currently has been hard. Although my daughter is a source of great joy to my friend, it means I can't be there for her as much as I would naturally like to be.
On some level my mind still refuses to accept the whole thing too - she looks so well, if you met her in the street you'd never know how ill she is. It feels one huge cosmic joke.
Any advice from anyone on how I can support her and then survive the aftermath is appreciated.
Thank you
Hi RockyDays and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your best friends cancer journey.
This can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your friend and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides lpractical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
Hi Fred59 and a warm welcome to you but sorry to hear about your wife and your daughter.
The community has various support groups so do have a look at our cancer experience forums or our cancer type forums where you can find support from others who are navigating the same journey.
