Hi, Newby looking after my mum who has terminal brain cancer

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My mum was in remission from cancer about February this year and doing great then about a 6 weeks ago we found out she had 11 lesions in her brain effecting various areas. Radiotherapy was going to cause her more problems and only maybe add a month on to her life expectancy and steroids would do the same in terms of life expectancy but with less potential probs. Within a few days of diagnosis she became very confused, unsteady and was having hallucinations.

I am lucky enough to be in a position to move into her house and look after her as she would struggle on her own. Consultant said on average people with this cancer have 3 months, could be more, could be less. Mercifully she is in no pain and has no nausea. She is getting more confused and generally more frail. But it seems to vary from day to day. Sometime she is pottering about all day and it's hard to get her to take a rest, other days she sleeps alot. She has lost control of bodily functions but if it was a choice of that or pain we'll settle for the pull ups!

Anyone else going through this kind of experience? How did you cope? It's heart breaking to see a strong, incredibly intelligent, organised woman reduced to not being able to plug a hoover in or how to turn her own cooker off. I feel guilty for wanting it to be over sooner rather than later while she still knows us and has a bit of her dignity left. 

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    It sounds like a very difficult time for the whole family and I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group which is a great place to ask questions, share experiences and get support.

    To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

    If you have any problems negotiating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help.

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"