Hello all I’m new to this but I needed to find a place to say what I need to and hope I find that I’m not alone.
I’m 34 and March of 2023 my mum was diagnosed with cancer, there were optimistic with an op and some chemo and radiotherapy she will be in the clear, after all that and her first yearly scan they found more ( the original cancer had gone but it had spread)
After having chemo every other week for the past 6 month, she had a scan to check the progress and now found out it’s in operable and she will be on chemo for the foreseeable to stabilise it.
it has been incredibly hard for me mentally, I was planning on buying my first house in my own, and then this al happened I’ve taken on more at home and now with the new news I found it heart breaking not only for the fact that my mum is going through this and we don’t no how long it can be kept stabilised for but the fact that now I feel moving out isn’t an option for me anymore and it’s always been the dream for myself and now I don’t know what to do.
to top it off my group of friends have completely deserted me at the worst time in my life and feel so alone. All I want to do is have my friends back, and I’m destroyed by it all and it’s all consuming. I know that if they were really friends that they wouldn’t do that and is in fact why I haven’t reached out ( they all know about my situation & 1 of them is going through similar and I was there for her from the start) I’m lost and don’t no what to do, I’m holding it all in and trying not to break down, I fear if I cry I might not stop
Hi Biogirl and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer or cancer support challenges can help a lot.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms)……… but you don’t say what type of cancer your mum has…….. but if you care to have a look through THIS LIST you will find all our dedicated cancer support groups listed…… it’s so important to get the right group as not all cancers react in the same way.
These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
Have a look through the LIST above and once you find the support group for your mum’s cancer type....... click on the link and when the group page opens you will see a [Black - Click to Join - Banner] at the bottom of the page, click in this box and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……..
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
