Scared

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I’m new here. I’m trying so hard to stay strong for my husband, I won’t even cry in front of him but I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. My heart hurts so much. A little history: I’m 52 and this is my first marriage of now 5months. We have been friends since 1995, been dating for 8 years. He finally retired in 2022 so we have been making plans to spend the rest of our lives together. In January he went to the doctor for test and found out his lymph nodes in his neck was swollen so had biopsy done and found he has stage 4 thyroid cancer that has spread to his spine and few other places. In February he’s had a total thyroidectomy, nodes removed and left side carotid artery, alone with 2fest sizes tumors. March they replaced C-6,7 with cages and put rods down both sides of his spine. Spent 42 days in hospital. June he had RAI done. Now we find out the radioactive iodine didn’t work and if he don’t do treatment soon he may only have a couple years. I’ve watched the man I love go from 235 pounds to 150 pounds since January. We are now 1 Day into chemo treatments. All I can do is cry. 

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis and the challenges he and indeed yourself are facing.

    A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

      Carers only

      Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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