Mum losing to pancreatic cancer

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Hi everyone,

My mum was diagnosis with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and secondary liver cancer at the beginning of August. We found out yesterday that there are too many cancers now in her liver for chemotherapy to prolong her life to be an option and now we are at the end of what has felt like an incredibly short journey. 

When she was first diagnosed we had expected, perhaps naively that she would still be here next August when I get married. Now I’m not sure she’ll make it through this Autumn. 

I’m not too sure what I am looking for her, but to share grief and talk about anticipatory grief and how bloody awful it is, as well as cancer generally, would be great! 

My heart goes out to those of you who are also experiencing this pain too. 

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.

    A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

     Family and Friends

     Carers only (if you are their caregiver)

     Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing supporting all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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