Hallo from me.
I am the partner of a 76 year old man who was told yesterday that he has a cancerous tumour in his abdomen. They found it in a follow up scan after he finished treatment for. Urethral cancer involving a long surgery to remove his kidney and urethra, a bladder scrape and then chemotherapy. (He had a hip replacement after all that, and has been walking much better, although he also has rheumatoid arthritis involving medication by steroids.)
We thought we were out of the woods but it seems the woods had other ideas. I struggled last time around as we were coming out of covid at the time and his family were very unhelpful and offered hassle and no support or visits. I will not inform them of this recent development as we don’t need the hassle. I am also the guardian of my brother who has severe learning difficulties and is resident in a local care home, I manage his affairs and bring him out regularly.
We have two large doggies who are both our delight and a pain in the butt at times but they keep us moving and provide lots of cuddles.
I am very much the person who keeps the show on the road, and I don’t have a lot of support. I work part time in a responsible position and work can be my refuge at times, but at other times it isn’t enough. So I thought it would be sensible as we wait for the next stage - a PET scan in the next few days, followed by a treatment plan - to register here.
Oh, and I am a cancer survivor myself of nearly 20 years. And my nephew aged 40 has just finished treatment for skin cancer. So I kinda know the routine treatment wise. It’s the emotional stuff, the managing of other people and the provision of support to my partner that I sometimes need help with. And looking after myself. If I get sick we are up a gum tree.
Thanks. Even typing all that is a relief.
Hi MidgetGem and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate and that you've already had a long time dealing with cancer so it's great that you've reached out to this community.
The online community is divided into different support forums so I'm going to recommend that you join the carers only forum which is a safe and supportive place to discuss your worries and emotions with others who have a loved one living with cancer.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your partner's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
