Not sure who I need to talk to

Hi Blondie19

I'm so sorry about the passing of your son my heart breaks for you. I haven't been on here long but as far as I know this forum is for everyone who has been affected by cancer in whatever way that is. There is a section  called Cancer experience forums which is broken down further so you can speak to people who have the same experience. Sending a hug. X

Thank you x

Hi Blondie19 and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your son….. my sincere condolences.

A cancer journey like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' challenges could help you a lot.

This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.

The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

Bereaved Family and Friends Support Group.

  ……. support group where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same challenges.

To connect with the group click on the “Bold Italic Link” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

There is quite a lot of information in What to do after someone dies and many hospitals have bereavement services who may be able to offer support.

Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

I am so very sorry to hear this. I lost my 40 year old son to stomach cancer 3 and a half years ago. I can't really help you except to say that although I still cry for him most days, it is no longer all day and every day as it was at first. I would say you never get over it, but you do get used to it. I didn't think counselling would be any use to me, from a person who had not lost their own child since they could not possibly understand if it hadn't happened to them, but you might be different. I'm sure you could get counselling on NHS if you want it. I know outsiders do not want to hear about it as they can't cope with another person's pain. I find it best not to talk to them about it as they do tend to change the subject and then avoid you. You will need your friends more than ever. Eventually though not yet, a project might help. I have been doing a gardening project this last couple of months, and found it helped. If gardening isn't your thing, then perhaps you had other hobbies? I so hope your precious son did not suffer much pain. Love to you.

Thank you for your help and support

Thank you for your kind words, my son had esophagal cancer ( usually found in 70/80 year olds) from diagnosis to passing away just 11 months.

i know what you mean about people as they see you ok on the outside they think your fine as you are carrying on with life. They don’t understand the pain and heartbreak you are living with every day. 

my family & friends have been fantastic checking in on me to make sure I’m ok. But I feel I need a support group, not counselling to talk to people who know how I’m feeling. And chatting on here will hopefully help too. 

Hi Blondie19, and Ma78, words are inadequate for the terrible loss you have both suffered and are having to live with. It's not right we should have to go through such a terrible thing to watch our children lose their lives before us, my eldest daughter had a recurrence early this year, sarcoma of the breast, 12 years after battling through her first diagnosis, we have been told there is a small chance of cure, but far more likely just a couple of years or just maybe a little longer. I have lost grandparents, both parents and 3 brothers to cancer and other illness and every time it broke my heart, already despite the little bit of hope this is so much worse, I'm trying to be strong for her, but the fear of loosing her is too much and getting worse and as bad as that is, it's worse knowing my cancer will take me first, and I won't be there for her at the end.

Eddie xx

Thank you for understanding, especially when you are in such a difficult situation yourself. Lots of virtual hugs to you.

Thank you so very much for reaching out to me, means so very much especially when you are going through such difficult times. Can’t begin to imagine how hard it is for you all, and all the pain and artbreak you are suffering. Thinking of you and sending love and hugs and hoping for a miracle  for you all xx