New and scared.

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Hello Everyone.

For the last two -three weeks I have been struggling to swallow food. Went to ENT and they done a CT Scan followed by a Barium Meal x-ray. I had a follow up telephone appointment for Wed the 5th Sept. But got a phone call a couple of hours after my Barium meal x-ray telling me the Consultant has cancelled the telephone appointment to a face to face on Thursday the 6th. Now the main words that the ENT consultant just kept using the words "very sinister" and Unofficially confirmed I had cancer and every question we asked she deflected and just insisted she was referring me to Upper Gastro and Oncology. With the faces she pulled, her body language and deflection, she has me seriously worried that she knows more than she has told us and that it is terminal but is afraid to say it and passing the buck.

She did tell me that I have a load of Lymph Nodes around my gullet that they are narrowing it and my lung is swollen with a single lymph node inside it. She has arranged for me to have an endoscopy with  biopsy under sedation as I have a really strong gag reflex. That is on Wednesday and on the 24th I have a pet scan scheduled.

I honestly don't know if I am coming or going. Obviously we are all devastated with this news, but with the way the ENT consultant was I am thinking they are just going through the motions only to tell me it is terminal.

I am sorry for my post as i said my mind is all over the place.

  • Hi  and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your ongoing diagnosis…… 

    These early days are challenging as it’s all about the unknown’s….. but the tests need to be done to find out exactly what is going on…… I have been on my incurable cancer journey for over 25 years….. I remember being told the word ‘incurable’ in 1999 but I am still here all these years on so please do not jump to any conclusions.

    Navigating a cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type can help a lot.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms)…… so once you know exactly what this is you can have a look through THIS LIST you will find all our dedicated cancer support groups listed.

    These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from members who are navigating the exact same journey.

    When you are ready have a look through the LIST above and once you find the support group for your cancer type....... click on the link and when the group page opens you will see a [Black - Click to Join - Banner] at the bottom of the page, click in this box and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

    During this challenging time you may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community or just have to chat.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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