Going to lose my dad soon to Pancreatic cancer

Hello Row 

A warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Cancer Community - I am so sorry to find you here and to read of your dad's diagnosis. 

The Community is divided up into various forums or chat rooms where you will find mutual help and support. I would suggest you join the following forums - 

Family and friends forum and

Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum 

To join these forums just click on the links I have provided. Once the page opens up, click on the black banner at the bottom of the page and once you have joined the forum you can copy and paste or repost your original post in the "New Here - Say Hello" section.

I would also advise you to give our support line a call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) where they will be able to offer you emotional and practical support.

I do hope this helps - if I can do anything else for you please let me know.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hello

you have my heartfelt sympathy, I am currently going through exactly the same thing. My Dad was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer 13 months ago. We were told from the start there was no treatment suitable due to how advanced the cancer was and underlying health issues he already had. His medical team initially gave him approximately 6 months to live which he has exceeded. Dad is now very frail, thin and sleeps a huge amount. There is very little quality of life but he is comfortable, he has an amazing palliative care team who are managing symptoms well enough that we can keep him at home.

My brothers and I have good and bad days with the diagnosis. Like you we struggle to imagine life without Dad, how do we comprehend a world without the man who is central to all our lives and always has been? I wish I knew! 

We have used the time we have to make lots of memories, we did lots of really fun things together before Dad became to unwell, he had a “celebration of life” party back in March! 120 people, singing, dancing, food, it really was a happy night.

Things are now deteriorating and it’s really difficult to watch our beloved Dad fade away before our eyes, thankfully we have each other. I have also found Marie Curie a massive support too. 

Hi lynsey thank you for replying my dad was diagnosed in 2019 and he had his pancreas removed and the operation went well two years after they found he had a tumour and it was terminal because it is attached to a main artery he had chemotherapy quite a few times and it hadn't got bigger but recently he has lost a lot of weight and his appetite hasn't been great hands and feet always cold and feeling tired his last scan this August showed that the tumour had now got bigger and they said that they can no longer give treatment and got intouch with the farleigh hospice my dad seems to be going down hill very fast he has very low blood pressure dizziness and keeps falling asleep it's horrible to see him like this and I don't know how long he will still be here with us it's breaking my heart I'm sorry for you to and your family and your dad going through this horrible disease and im not sure how I'm going to get through this when my dad passes away 

Hi Row

I understand completely how you feel, I can’t imagine my life without my Dad. How do you even begin to get over such a massive loss? Even though I know how little time he has left I still can’t believe it’s real. 
I have lived through his funeral in my head a thousand times, I know how screwed up that sounds but I can’t seem to stop the images in my head. The whole thing is just torture. 
I am so sorry you are going through this too. 

Know I understand what you mean I've had all sorts going around in my head to and breakdown with thinking I don't want to lose my dad I need him in my life and I will be alone without him I lost my husband coming up to 5 years this year after us being together 17 years I'm still lost and grieving him I really do hate life at times 

Oh Row, I am dreadfully sorry. You have been through so much already. Have you had any kind of grief counselling? I lost my partner 16 years ago, our son was only 18 months old at the time. I genuinely thought I’d never feel normal again. After 2 years I went to Cruse for counselling and it really helped, it took time but it was so helpful to have professional guidance and support.