M 50, childless, single and mortgaged until 75 - why should I accept treatment?

2 replies
36 subscribers
147 views

Hello everyone,
Sorry for the lack of introduction, but messaging here because I promised my sister I would canvas opinion.
Turns out I need heart surgery before I can have a Stoma, before I can have chemo, before I can get my poop tube cancer cut out.
That's a HUGE treatment plan for someone that's had depression for 20-odd years.
I don't think I have all that in me just to carry on living on my own and playing games/watching movies - with nobody else to pick up the slack, let alone help pay the mortgage/bills.
I've kept plugging away so far to care for my dog - pictured - but he was so happy with the dog sitter this weekend, IDK if I need to worry.

emmak 2 months ago

Wow, I feel for you, that is a lot to take on. Depression is debilitating enough without facing these surgeries too.

It can only be your choice - have you been offered any counselling to think together with someone else about what your next steps could be? Personally, I find it useful when my head is swimming to have someone to run my thoughts through with - someone unbiased.

Are you able to focus on just one step/operation at a time and then evaluating whether you want the next one, or not?

I really empathise with you and I'm so sorry you are living with a depression so awful that you are considering not having the surgeries.

I hope you get some more suggestions on this post.

Take care and keep posting

Eliza - Macmillan 2 months ago

Hello BigStevieT,

I'm Eliza from the Community team. We've reached out to you with further support. Making treatment decisions can be very personal and a lot to consider. Please remember firstly you can talk to your GP and medical team about how you're feeling so they can do their best to help you. I'll also share some links here in this discussion:

Our Support Line nurse specialists and support team are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.

Macmillan also has a webpage on making treatment decisions.

Through our partnership with BUPA, Macmillan are offering up to four sessions of free one-on-one counselling to people who have been diagnosed with cancer, which you can find out more about through contacting the Support Line.

If you'd like more support from the Community team, please feel welcome to contact us over email to community@macmillan.org.uk.

Take care,

Eliza

Macmillan Community Team