I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 2020 and I've been on treatment ever since that is prolonging my life. I am very lucky, but also suffering from lots of side effects.
I've recently got neuropathy and I'm in agony. Was signed off work for weeks etc. Really suffering.
When people ask me how I am they want to hear I'm okay. If I say I'm not, or I'm honest it cuts the conversation dead. My wife got depressed as well.
I've really pushed myself this last week and been trying to act 'normal'. Now everyone wants to talk to me and my wife is happier etc.
I'm just miserable and I feel like if I'm honest then people aren't interested. Four years is a long time to be poorly and it's never ending. Sorry to moan, I just don't know who to talk to or what to do and holding onto all this stress is making me feel worse.
Hi GemKin and a very warm welcome to the Community but I am sorry to hear about your ongoing challenges.
Navigating a cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but getting support from people who are walking the ‘exact same' cancer journey can help you a lot. I have been in my incurable cancer journey for over 25 years now so I do appreciate the challenges.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to try and direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend that you join and put up your own post in our dedicated…..
Living with incurable cancer - incurable patients only (Please join the group but for everyones safety this will then have to be approved by the Macmillan Community Team so will not happen immediately)
……. support group. This is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, to ask questions and get support.
To connect in with the group please click on the link above and when the group page opens you will see a [Black - Click to Join - Banner] at the bottom of the page, click in this box and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
You can then introduce yourself to the group by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post]or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Macmillan have also teamed up with BUPA to offer up to 6 free counselling sessions for people struggling emotionally because they are living with cancer. Clicking on the link will give you more information about this.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and give support to all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Hi Gemkin,
I think you have come to the perfect place to be honest and have a “moan”. I reckon almost everybody on this site will be empathising and wanting to help and support you with no judgment or criticism at all because we are all basically in that very same boat and wanting someone to “let off steam” about it. So i suggest you go for it and just sit back and brace yourself for a tide of support.
Im here anytime you want to have a chat about your illness or even just to pass the time of day or moan about the cost of frozen peas.
Hopefully when you’ve had a chat with me or someone else it will make you feel a little less downhearted and a bit more comforted.
Sending hugs, lots of them. 
