Feeling shock by recent news that no more treatment available for my husband

Hi Anm and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis and prognosis.

A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.

This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our 

Carers only 

and our…..

Supporting someone with incurable cancer

……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

Dear Anm,

I am so sorry to hear this. I have been through several experiences of watching loved ones die to cancer but only recently discovered this website and all the wonderful support here.

I would definitely phone the helpline for emotional support or find a counsellor/GP who can help with the depression. I think sometimes you have to go through the various emotions but that's not a bad thing unless you get stuck in one for too long. Grief starts before death in a sense. At least that's my experience.

My husband has been diagnosed with incurable cancer and just about to start treatment. There are no guarantees it will work of course and we have been on a roller coaster of emotions but we have talked a lot and decided that we'll make the most of whatever time he has left. We are trying to find nice things to do together and he is continuing to persue his hobbies and interests. I am fortunate that he tends to be a positive sort of person but it can be hard when you're both struggling.

I hope you find the support you both need.

Sending hugs across to you both
Squeak

Thank you for your kind words. The stress of the past 2 1/2 years since the diagnosis has taken its toll on both of us. I contacted MacMillan helpline this morning and they gave me number of my local MacMillan support team so I’m going to contact them tomorrow and see about counselling. I’m also going to make appointment with Gp about the depression as I feel I need professional help with this now. I feel exhausted and lack motivation. I’ve got a supportive family and friends but this forum is very helpful thank you. 

That sounds like a good plan. Two and a half years is a long time to deal with continuous stress. Take care

Anm, l am in a similar position. My husband has renal cancer in the lungs. We were advised, by phone call, that he will have no further treatment and has a life expectancy of a few months and this was told to us over 4 weeks ago. We are waiting to hear whether he fulfils the criteria for admission to a hospice. He seems very accepting which l think is his way of dealing with the news. I am unable to function properly, so worried and so sad. Crying constantly. Trying not to worry close family but so hard.

I hope you can find a way through all that you and your husband is going through.

Hi Sorrow and I see it’s your first post so welcome to the community.

As you see the community has a number of support groups where you can connect in with a wide group of people who are supporting family.

Do consider joining our….. 

Carers only 

and our…..

Supporting someone with incurable cancer

…… support groups ((hugs))

Hello Sorrow, this is so sad to hear. Please allow your firends and family to support you. Our loved ones generally want to do all they can to help. Don't let them take over but let them know what you need because caring for a loved one in this situation is exhausting. It's their way of showing they care and love you.

I hope you get all the support you need from the various services. Don't be afraid to ask and take good care of yourself.