My father-in-law (who is 88 years old) was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer at the end of April 2024. The results from a camera down the throat said it was Stage 2/3 spread to 2 or 3 lympth nodes. The oncology consultant at beginning of June said that they cannot cure the cancer, cannot do surgery, cannot have chemo. He has had a stent fitted back in May. He has lost over 3 stones in 3 months and it is like hugging a skeleton. He is having pallative care. He is able to still do things by himself. Just recently had another CT scan as he does'nt want to eat as feeling sick and waiting for another camera down. Not sure if the stent has moved, the tumor has grown or if the cancer has spread. It is a matter of a waiting game as to know how long he has left. The only family that can help him is myself and my husband, but he has got friends that take him to bowls. I would like to know what is the best thing to do. Do I help him with everything when the time comes? Do I get him to get cleaners in to do the housework (as he is getting £100 a week)? He has told us, and put it in writing, where he wants his ashes put, but has left it up to us whether there is a funeral or not. I am getting a bit overwhelmed. Any suggestions please.
Hi Honey12 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your father-in-law has been diagnosed with incurable cancer and it sounds like you and your husband are doing everything you can to make life as easy as possible for him.
As the online community is divided into different support forums I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer forum as you'll then connect directly with others in a similar position.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
If you need any help finding your way around the community just reply to me and I'll do my best to help.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Beth74
It sounds like you and your family are in a very difficult place at the moment.
As I said to Honey12, the online community is divided into different support forums and I think you might benefit from joining the oesophageal cancer forum as you'll then connect directly with others in a similar position.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
Has your father-in-law been assigned a cancer nurse specialist (CNS), sometimes referred to as a keyworker or Macmillan nurse, yet? If so, you could with his permission, speak to them to ask your questions.
Sending virtual (((hugs)))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
