My husband has very recently (just over a week) been placed into a care home from the hospital as his kidney cancer has metastasized to his lungs and brain. He also has primary lung cancer. The doctors have given him weeks to live.
He cannot talk but knows what he want to say, cannot use his right hand so cannot write, has very limited strength in his legs so cannot walk and three weeks ago had a CT scan which showed 3 large tumors in his brain which are bleeding. He likes the carers to get him out of bed into a wheelchair and be taken outside but this can only be done when I am visiting, which I do everyday for a couple of hours. At times he has his old sense of humor but his mood changes so quickly and often. I am trying my hardest to communicate with him and help him to adjust to his new surroundings and at times he says he is fine but then he will obviously get very frustrated and sulky.
I feel guilty and tired all the time but know I have no other choice. I know I have to look after myself.
I am on hear just to see if others have the same problems and would appreciate any advise.
Hi JaMJeM and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis and the challenges you are dealing with.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our dedicated......
Supporting someone with incurable cancer (I see you have already joined)
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
