How to deal with right frontal lobe behaviours?

Hi Mrstom  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis and the challenges you are facing.

A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.

This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms)........ but I do see that you have already joined our dedicated.......

         Glioblastoma multiforme 

……. support group. This group is a safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

     Carers only

and our

     Supporting someone with incurable cancer (that I see you have already joined)

……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

My bestfriend was diagnosed last january with stage 4 glioblastoma and given 15 months with treatment. He started treatment June 2023 so we are 15 months now. It gives me some comfort that you are 2 years in however my friend is stage 4. I still think I have longer than the doctors have said. Somewhat going through grief before he's gone and grief of the person he was before.

However since his diagnosis he is exactly how you've said. Like Jekyll and Hyde. He can be totally normal like how he used to be at times and other times is really aggressive and rude. Its pushed my patience numerous times. My way for dealing with it is that I know its caused by his cancer but its still ok to vent and get things off my chest with my close friends and family. Sometimes they will say "but its because of the cancer so you can't say that" and at first I felt really bad for feeling so fustrated with him and having these thoughts. But now I reply yes thats true but also my feelings are valid. I completely understand why he is the way he is but it still doesn't invalidate my feelings. Now after explaining to them they completely understand that it's just my place to vent. 

I hope you have people you can vent to if not this place is probably good for you.

I've been struggling with his diagnosis since the mass was found and this is the first time seeking a forum and people who feel how I do. 

As much as he's going through it, so are you. 

Hang in there.

Thank you for sharing. Validation from other people who’s experiencing the same thing is what I needed.

you’re right. He is going through it as well as I am. I feel selfish sometimes that I’m only looking after my own feelings. Am i getting too sensitive? 
im reluctant to go shopping with him most times because he gets easily irritated and rude  with crowds, long line up’s and especially seeing someone wear a mask. I pretend I don’t hear his comments. Sometimes I walk ahead of him. I always hope that no one’s listening. I would not want to witness confrontation between 1 normal right frontal lobe and Mr Tom. 

Let’s hang on together 

I completely understand. My friend will shout at me in public too. When he would never ever do that. 

It can be embarrasing but no one knows what he or us are going through. Just know its safe to vent your feelings here. Loving someone with cancer is romanticised. Its hard, its fustrating and all the emotions inbetween. Im so happy I came across your post because its helped me in not feeling like a terrible person for feeling the way I do. 

Only people who go through it understand.

Know that I hear you completely.