Hi all very new to this group. I lost my dad 10 years ago suddenly to lung cancer. My mum has been hiding her illness for approx 2 years (not sure on exactly how long could be more or less) i live with her and feel so bad she didn't get help in the early stages ( maybe i wouldn't be here writing this). I know i cant change things but i feel guilty in not trying to persuade her more to get help when i first started seeing her unwell. She has terminal breast cancer that has spread to her bones. She has deteriorated so quickly over the last 3 weeks. I know she must have been scared when she found a lump but she is even more scared of passing away. The doctors have been trying to make her comfy as there is nothing else they can do. It feels so hard to grieve for someone who is still here. I dont know the point of this post, rant maybe or to see if anyone can relate, as the world at this moment in time feels so lonely and numb.
Hi Vwhite1 and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum and indeed about your dad.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
I will say that I have also lost both my mum and dad. My dad was a good number of years back but my mum just a few years ago…. She was very good at hiding that there was anything significant wrong with her…… we made sure that she was seeing her GP when ‘issues’ appeared but there was no clear signs that there was a significant illness….. we can’t carry any guilt when this happens - it is what it is. Thankfully mum did not suffer as she passed away within a few days of going into hospital.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
