Coming to terms with Metastatic cancer diagnosis of partner

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Hi, my husband was diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer at the end of last year & did a course of chemo which didn’t shrink the tumour enough for surgery. Further scans found the cancer had spread to the abdominal cavity, front pelvis & kidney & he’s had 2 opinions which have both stated that the cancer is inoperable. He’s been prescribed palliative chemo to start next month with a prognosis of 18mths-5 yrs. I’m struggling to get my head around it all & to know what best to do to support him. I want to be as prepared as I can be & also need to manage 2 young kids who are aware of the cancer diagnosis but not of the most recent prognosis. Just looking for advice & solidarity I guess & any tips on how to manage my emotions so I can be there for him & them as much as possible, thanks 

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis. 

    A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our……

             Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer

    ……. support group. This group is a safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

        Carers only

        Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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