Hello all,
Simply just looking to find I am not alone in experiencing anticipatory Grief. My elder sister has been diagnosed with terminal oesophagial cancer and, horribly, I feel so selfish in that my overriding thought at the moment is "how am I going to cope feeling like this for potentially a year?!". When my beloved father was given his 6 months, almost 17 years ago, I was living abroad, and so almost felt detached from the situation. This time, it's very real, and very close to home and heart. I feel almost devoid of emotion.. I can tell friends without breaking down, I can spend time with her as normal, and I wonder what the hell is wrong with me? Bar the black cloud silently skulking behind me, I am carrying on like nothing is wrong. Is this normal??
I am looking forward to maybe making some online friends here, people perhaps in the same leaking boat, who knows that, eventually, that skulking cloud is going to rain emotions down.
Kind regards x
Hi Mings and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your sisters diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot. I have an incurable cancer so I do understand in part what you are dealing with, as a family we have talked this all through and come to a place of peace and acceptance.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your sister and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
Carers only (if you are her caregiver)
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
