My sister

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Hello All 

Yesterday I had a great shock.

I was trying to locate my sister on the internet.We had grown apart over the years.

She lived on Hayling island near The isle of wight.

During the search I came across an undertakers website.This site displayed recently deceased people. I don't no why I started looking, but I did, and with a growing sense of unease. To my shock there was my sister. She had passed away in 2023.

I felt I had been kicked in stomach the shock was unbelievable.

Although we had grown apart I felt sure someone would have contacted me.

This what happens when possible family conflicts can be so harmful.

It's now two days since I first became aware of my sister's passing. The sorrow and grief is almost unbearable .

She had a total hysterectomy some years ago and traces of cancer were found but I believe the operation went well.

Iam not sure whether the cancer had returned or not though and was the cause of death but I hope it's ok to post on this forum.

This is terrible case of " What if" "If only I had"

I can't believe she has gone.

Such sadness.

Andy

  • Hi Andy  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about you finding out about your sister, especially the way you found out….. hindsight is a great thing. I have lost contact with one family member…… 30* years on I have no idea where they are and if they are still alive.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our……

    Bereaved Family and Friends Support Group.

    ……. where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges, this is a safe place to get support.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hello Mike

    Thanks for helping me out.

    I am still trying to come to terms with what happened to my sister I  still do not know for certain whether it was a recurrence of the cancer or something else. 

    Iam wondering if I will ever get over what has happened.The pain and grief is beyond anything I have ever experienced. (Including the death of both my parents from dementia, I had a problematic relationship with both of them )I am Seventy years old and have experienced a simple life of cycling and walking since retirement. This simple life has gone for now. I can only hope that time really is a great healer.

    Thanks Andrew.

  • Time indeed is a healer but talking with others who may have navigated a similar journey can help also.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hello Mike

    I intend to make full use of this site. I have only two family members left now just one Brother and a Niece. My brother and I never really got on though .l believe he may live in Plymouth. Having said that about not getting on he had a closer relationship with Heather in recent years and I hope he came through the trauma of what happened (Heather's passing was about a year ago.)and is living a life now.

    Andrew