Hi, I'm looking for something, at this stage I'm not sure what, advice, support, just an ear... My forever human of 24 years, was diagnosed 4 days ago with metastatic S4 bowel cancer, inoperable and spread everywhere... Chemo is being offered for prolonging, stent fitted yesterday for comfort... He has so many friends, family, I'm fielding hundreds of messages, we'd just started planning for retirement in a few years and now I'm organizing a downstairs bedroom and wheelchair access... I think I'm going nuts! When does it start to make sense? I've got time off work but I have to go back at some point, we're not sure he'll ever be able to go back... the uncertainty and unknown is starting to get to me but it can't, he's so frightened, I am trying to wear my 'big girl pants' but honestly I'm struggling too, I guess I just need to know this is normal, I go from in being in control to crying uncontrollably, is this my new normal?
Hi Loubiwan and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your ‘forever friends’ diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
