Hi I’m new here and I am seeking advice.
my mother was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in march and has already spread to the lymph nodes in the chest and in the liver. She started chemotherapy 5 weeks ago but it has been delayed due to urine infections and low potassium, since the second UTI my mum cannot be left alone to care for herself she struggles to stand struggles to walk can barely feed herself, so myself and my brother are doing everything between us day and night 7 days a week she has always got one of us with her. Unfortunately I am disabled due to problems caused by a brain tumour and craniotomy and it’s taking its toll on me physically and mentally and as selfish as I sound I was not asked or given the choice but to look after her 12-14 hours a day regardless of my disabilities and the constant pain I have, my brother seems to think I am ok as I look fine, so I should be fine if I look it! And I have expressed continually I am not and I can’t do this anymore, but it falls on deaf ears. Anyway I just need advice how to find out if she can have help and how to find it, I’m at breaking point now and don’t know what else I can possibly do, the oncology department and nurses seem to fob us off from one to the other and I’ve lost all faith now, and my brother doesn’t want help for her and refuses to seek help even when I ask him, I haven’t a clue where to start looking and who to contact
Hi Emma2312 and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mothers diagnosis and the challenges you are dealing with.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mother and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
