Hi all,
I've just joined the group as my partner has been diagnosed with bowel cancer but he has pushed me out totally.
I met him last March and we started dating mid May after a bad break up I experienced which pushed me into being diagnosed with PTSD. In the beginning for the first 2 months my partner would bombard me with I love you's and I will never hurt you and not all members are the same. He even swore on his kids lives to not hurt me as I had told him of my previous breakup and he saw how I couldn't go to places I had been with my ex as it would give me anxiety attacks.
Anyway, 2 months in he started having stomach pains and he started to change, the affection stopped, simple things like a heart felt hug, he came across as if it was neither here nor there if I was with him, he withdrew and stopped involving me in his life and he in mine. He has had chemo buy it hasn't stopped the growth, so he is now having radio therapy but in these last 2 months he has never taken me to his appointments or asked me to take him (drop him off). Instead he has turned to his mate. He used to tell me that it was him and I against the world but he has behaving anything but that.
He has explained that he needs to get his head around how the possibity of a stoma bag will affect life short term and long. He asked me if I would be happy if he couldn't have sex anymore. I've tried to be patient and reassure him but at the same time what he has done is hurting me as it seems through his behaviour that he is trying to break us up which is something I don't want, bag or no bag. Then on the other hand, he tells me why does everything have to come back to us breaking up which then makes me think its not something he wants, yet he still continues to live life as if he is single.
I really am at wits end and don't know what to do. If anyone can please offer some solace it would be appreciated.
Thank you
Hi Em2005 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your partner has been diagnosed with bowel cancer and that this is affecting your relationship with him. Macmillan has this information on cancer and relationships which you might find helpful to look through.
As the online community is divided into different support forums I'm going to recommend that you join the carers only forum which is a supportive place to discuss your emotions and get support from others who have a loved one living with cancer.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your partner's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
