Hi everyone,
I am sure I am one of several people on here in a similar situation but I am hoping someone can point me in the right direction.
My Dad has been diagnosed with Colon Cancer and is not doing well, so much so he is struggling to look after himself with even the smallest of tasks. I live over 200 miles away and when we have been speaking on the phone he has been telling us how he is fine and nothing is wrong, that he is doing well etc. it was only because I went to see him this last week, we have realised that he is much worse than he has been admitting and needs some home help and support.
We are all doing what we can but is there someone we can get in touch with as his family to let them know what’s really going on for him as he will not admit how bad things are himself out of sheer pride.
I am totally lost right now as I don’t know how to help him and I really want to.
Hi Slayer83 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated……
Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer
…… support group. This group is a safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Hi Slayer83 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
It sounds, as you say, that your dad doesn't want to ask for help but I can totally understand why you want to see what can be done.
I wasn't in your position, as I was the one with cancer and my husband was able to support me whilst I was going through treatment, so I'm going to recommend that you join the family and friends forum which is a great place to ask your questions, share experiences and get support.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
You might find this information from Macmillan about practical support helpful to have a look through as it might provide you with some ideas as to how to get help for your dad.
It would be great if you could put something about your dad's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
