Nan's Cancer

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Last week my Nan was told she has cancer. I believe it started in her gall bladder and has spread to her liver. This afternoon, I am going to her and my Grandad's so they have some support when getting a further phone call from the hospital. I believe this is a more in depth phone call than last week and will discuss the next steps. She is 89 and does not want to be treated.

Three weeks ago my uncle died. It was sudden and unexpected and now we have this. My mum has her own medical appointment today so can't be with them.

I am devastated, feel stressed, anxious, as if flight or fight has kicked in. I have to work this morning, and will, but will struggle to concentrate. My Nan is 89 and I am 42. Are these emotions normal?


  • Hi  and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your nan’s diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.

    The New to Community is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your Nan and indeed yourself and the ready of the family you may benefit from joining and posting in our 

    Carers only 

    Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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