How do I help my husband with cancer

Hi Vicky 53 and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis.

A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.

The New to Community is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our 

Carers only 

and

Supporting someone with incurable cancer

……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

Hi Vicky 53 and a warm welcome to the forum, though sorry you have to be hear and your husband has cancer, I am terminal, Vicky the first thing we did was to get a referral by our GP to our hospice and their palliative care team, this does NOT mean you have very little time left, the team are there to manage pain and make you as comfortable as possible so you can make the most of the time you have left and as you can see them as often as you need they can usually keep one step ahead of any pain issues, and you also get access to all the services your hospice provide. Vicky hospice's are so much more than somewhere you go at the end. Having access to these services has improved quality of life and taken away a lot of worry so we can get on with living. Vicky my cancer is different to your husbands so can i suggest you join forums related to your husbands condition, We have the Bowel, Liver and Lung cancer forums and the carers only forum, and supporting someone with incurable cancer forum. getting advice and support from others going through what we are going through has been so important. I understand how awful you are feeling and how hopeless things seem and your not sure what to do, who wouldn't feel that way, it's perfectly natural. but there is still time to get something out of life, and we all find a way as you will, and please remember to look after yourself as well, best wishes to you both

Eddie xx

Thank you for your reply my husband was first told he had cancer in January me & our 2 daughters  we lost. Our 3 rd daughter to cancer a year ago we   have been trying so hard to help him but he’s almost given up as he was told at hospital he only had few months to live he’s still able to drive his car. He doesn’t want to see his brothers or sisters he’s just giving up it’s so sad we have been married over 52 years. I’m trying so hard to help but sometimes that so trying 

Hi  Vicky, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your your daughter. I know it's tough being told your terminal, and it takes a little time coming to terms with it, but as you say he's almost given up despite months of support and encouragement from his family, I'm sorry but I think you need more help than i can offer, The Macmillan helpline would be a good place to start 0808 808 00 00. Or if you have a Maggies locally www.maggies.org they are a drop in centre, no appointment needed, where family as well as patient  can visit for advice and support, I wish i could help more Vicky. take care.

Eddie xx