We have just found out that my husband has a rectal tumour. We are waiting on CT and MRI for staging and to be able to come up with a treatment plan. He is only 40 and we have 2 young children (aged 4 and 7). I’m a complete mess but he seems to be getting on with life. I feel like I should be the one looking after him and the kids but I’m completely overwhelmed and unable to function. I know maintaining ‘normality’ as much as possible for the kids is going to be important for them and I want to try and put on a brave face for them but I’m really struggling. My husband has always taken a big chunk of home and childcare responsibilities and I feel completely overwhelmed by the prospect of having to take over his family roles on top of everything else going on.
I suffer with mental health anyway and am going to go and see my GP to review my medication which will hopefully help a little. My pessimistic and control freak nature are really unhelpful!
Thanks for reading! I just needed somewhere to be honest and open about these things without any judgement (I’m self-critical enough as it is!) and hopefully find some people who can help us steer through the difficult next few months.
Hi Scientist44 and a second welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms)…… but I do see that you have already found and joined our dedicated……
Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer
…… support group. This group is a safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself abd the family you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
……. support group where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
